Surrender
I’ve spent the last few years trying to understand how to truly surrender and release control (whatever that means amiright?). I even wrote about it here a year ago- one of my favorite pieces actually so I hope you’ll take the time to check it out.
I’ve tried reminding myself to “let go” whenever I tighten my grip on life. I’ve tried pretending I didn’t care about situations I very much cared about. I’ve tried numbing out and ignoring things till they implode and can no longer be ignored. Turns out that’s not letting go, that’s avoidance.
So how do we actually surrender after we’ve reminded ourselves that something is out of our control and the weight of the world is too heavy to carry (when no one asked us to carry it in the first place)? Like… what are the practical action items?!
A few months ago I was asked to bring a mantra to share with a group of new friends. I used the values I’ve chosen to focus on this year (surrender, intentionality, connection) as a guide. The mantra I came up with was:
"I surrender to authenticity with the intention of cultivating genuine connections.”
“💡BINGO! That’s it!” I thought to myself. Authenticity = Surrender and when I don’t show up authentically, I’m trying to control what people think of me.
WOW. Keep in mind this realization was surprising because I was doing this unknowingly. I wasn’t showing up inauthentically by way of imitation or being “fake”; instead I wasn’t showing up at all. It was like I had a subconscious agreement with others that if I don’t fully show up as myself, take up space, be authentic; they wouldn’t react or respond to me in ways that I found offensive.
The thing is, there was no actual agreement. I stifled myself, how I felt and what I loved, hoping to be externally validated but it didn’t work. This type of validation never sticks nor is it guaranteed. Turns out folks get to choose what they say and do for themselves. This left me resentful and annoyed untill…
I started showing up! Completely, fully, authentically and something interesting began to happen. Me validating myself by taking up space without “permission” released me from seeking approval and ironically has made me more magnetic than ever. The most aligned people and opportunities have been presenting themselves. Why now? Because they couldn’t find me when I was hiding.
I no longer fear a loss of connection because I’m connected to myself.
That might sound corny or cliché but it’s 100% true and I feel it in my bones when I think about it. There’s nothing like a knowing that blooms from embodiment. I’m a work in progress but can’t help sharing these keys of liberation with you all as I unlock new doors. I’m curious, can you relate?
How might you be showing up inauthentically? Boisterously- constantly proving and explaining yourself? Or quietly- like me? Hiding parts of yourself so others aren’t uncomfortable or disapproving. Or maybe a different way all together? Perfectionism? A lack of boundaries?
Reply to this post and share your thoughts with me. 🤍
Photo of the week: Why didn’t y’all tell me there’s a cute lil two acre farm right in the middle of a neighborhood on the south side of San Jose?! Cosentino’s is such a gem and celebrating their 80th anniversary this year! How I just discovered this place a couple weeks ago completely blows my mind. 🤯
StarBody Report
My last few reports have been about Taurus cause, well.. it’s Taurus season! But today we’re talking about Venus, the planet that rules Taurus. On April 30th Venus returned to Aries after spending some time there earlier this year (2/4 - 3/27) and then retrograding back into Pisces. Venus is now direct and has re-entered Aries, where it will remain til June 6th.
Venus, the planet of values, love and receptivity, in the impassioned fire sign of Aries is giving all the inspired action and heart-centered feels. Expect the nudge to act on the value driven dreams you dreamt up while Venus was in Pisces (New job? New hobby? New fling?). Here’s how to get clear on what’s most important to you during this time and how to support yourself while going after it:
❤️🔥 Personalize this transit by checking to see which house it’s in for you. For example, Aries is in my 3rd house of communication. Where in my life can I expect to feel inspired to take some action in a value aligned way? What am I loving more than ever?
Communications because that’s what the 3rd house represents.
❤️🔥 We covered bodywork for Taurus season in the last newsletter (or two? All past newsletters are found on my blog.) which I’d also recommend for this transit because remember- Venus rules Taurus.
How we ignite the fire of Aries is via the head, scalp and face. Try my Head in the Clouds treatment which includes neck and shoulder massage, aromatherapy and facial pressure point work. Sinus rinses, gua sha stones and crown or third eye chakra energy clearings would be beneficial as well.
❤️🔥 Move your body. Aries is all about getting physical. If you’re not ready to jump on that whole “inspired action” thing or just unclear on where to begin, movement will wake up your body, brain and intuition. Bonus points if you get active outdoors in the name of Taurus season.
Til next week,
:) Ferris
“If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.”-Maria Edgeworth